Alice on Top of the World, chapter one

A story in the style of Lewis Carroll...

Chapter One

'Into The Abyss'

It was many years later when Alice had her next Adventure, and whilst she was quite

surprised to be having one at all, after the passing of so many years, she was even

more surprised to see that she was a child again, no older than when she had first

entered Wonderland and slipped through that fascinating Looking Glass.

“Curious,” she whispered, trying to recall the child she had once been.

Appearing quite suddenly in front of Alice, the White Rabbit said, “You took your time

getting here!”.

“I beg your pardon?” she replied, remembering how very rude the White Rabbit

could be, if he felt so inclined.

“I said you took your time in getting here. You should have been here fourteen

years ago,” the Rabbit huffed indignantly, hopping away without even bothering to wait for

a reply.

“But,” said Alice, running after the Rabbit, trying to catch up and explain that she

had no idea how she had arrived, let alone why she was so very late.

“We accept no ifs and buts in here, you should know that by now,” he said, as he

opened a door which had appeared as mysteriously as he. Then stepping through,

he said, “Hurry up, please don’t dawdle.”

As she followed closely behind, trying to keep up with the fast-hopping Rabbit,

Alice supposed he must have got out his bed on the wrong side this morning, to be

so grumpy on so wonderful a day. And it really was a wonderful morning, with a

warm sun shining brightly down.

‘I wonder where I might possibly be?’ thought Alice as she admired the pink forget-

me-nots skirting a narrow, winding path before them. “Are we in Wonderland?” she

asked just as another door, the very same as the first one, appeared.

Giving Alice a peculiar look, the Rabbit said, “Of course we are not in

Wonderland.” Then opening the door, he said, “We are on the top of the world.”

Without waiting for a reply, the White Rabbit scurried off, hopping down another

winding path, also bordered by pink forget-me-nots.

“The top of the world?” Alice cried out in surprise. “Why, that’s impossible!”

The Rabbit stopped hopping, and turning to face Alice, he asked, “Then how can

you be here, if it’s impossible?”

Flummoxed by the Rabbit’s unexpected question, Alice struggled to find a reply, all

that she was able to think of, was, “I bet you are mad!”

“That all depends,” the White Rabbit answered matter-of-factly.

“It depends on what?”

“On whether you mean mad or mad.”

“That’s silly,” said Alice forcefully, “they both mean the very same thing.”

“If you were mad number one,” said the White Rabbit with full conviction of his

case, “and someone told you that you were mad number two, I should think you

might be very mad at them for making so fundamental a mistake.”

“But I’m not mad,” Alice insisted, beginning to get hot under the collar at so silly a

conversation.

“How do you know that you aren’t mad,” asked the Rabbit, who appeared to be

enjoying flummoxing Alice, “when you can’t tell the difference between mad

number one and mad number two, I might ask?”

“I just know that I’m not mad,” said Alice, stamping her foot in an effort to get her

point across to the challenging Rabbit. Then changing the subject, from her

possible madness or claimed sanity, Alice informed him that another door had

appeared and was awaiting his attention.

Turning round, the White Rabbit took hold of the brass handle and attempted to

open it, but despite his best efforts the door remained stubbornly shut.

“Might I try,” Alice asked, feeling very un-mad.

Standing away from the door, the White Rabbit said nothing, but his pink beady

eyes watched her intently.

The door opened easily for Alice, and feeling vindicated, she proclaimed, “Could a

mad person have done that?” Then without waiting for a reply, she stepped through

the doorway and fell into the gaping hole on the other side.

“No, they mightn’t have been able,” said the White Rabbit, laughing as she

disappeared into the gaping hole. “But would they have fallen down there?” The

Rabbit laughed again, then jumping across the open doorway he also

disappeared down the hole, following Alice…

After a long fall in near to total darkness, which reminded Alice of the time she had

fallen down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland, the speed of her descent began

to slow. In fact it slowed so much it stopped altogether, and she began rising

again.

“I don’t want to return all the way up this hole, even if it is to the top of the world,”

Alice insisted, staring at the small speck of light high above her.

Hearing something passing her by (she had no idea what it could be, it was far too

dark inside that place to see properly), Alice resisted the upward pull by jumping

onto it, holding on tightly and riding upon it out from the well, or whatever it was that

she happened to have fallen into.

Squinting in the terribly bright light, Alice was surprised to see that she was

actually riding a baby hippopotamus, whose skin was as smooth as silk. She

wondered how she had ever been able to stay upon it for second let alone enough

time to escape the dreary, dark place. This thought had barely entered her mind

when she felt herself beginning to fall off the slippery creature, landing with a bump

on the hard dusty ground.

“I don’t like this place, “she moaned as she got up, brushing the dust from her

lovely clean dress, “I don’t like it at all.”

“You don’t like it,” said the hippopotamus, in a surprisingly low voice for such an

extreme animal, “then how do you think I feel? There’s not a drop of water to be

seen – anywhere. And us hippopotamuses need loads of water!”

Momentarily taken aback by the animal speaking, Alice brushed her dress again,

removing the last vestiges of dust, before saying, “Mr Hippopotamus, I would like

to thank you for the ride from out of that cave, or whatever it happens to be. And I

feel that I must tell you that it was the most comfortable hippopotamus ride I have

ever had, in my entire life (Alice omitted to tell the hippopotamus that it was in fact

the only hippopotamus ride she had ever had), thank you again.”

“My dear child, I hardly noticed you there at all, so light and small a girl you are,”

said the baby hippopotamus, obviously chuffed by Alice’s kind remarks. “And any

time you feel the need to take a ride from out of that space, please feel free to

jump on as I pass you by.”

“Thank you, thank you so very much, I will keep that invitation in my invitation book,”

said Alice in her most grateful voice, “and if I don’t find a need for it, I will treasure it

always.”

After that the hippopotamus returned to the darkness, searching for some water.

However, before he had a chance to begin, Alice heard another soft landing

(though it has to be said that it was not as soft a one as hers), and before she

could say Jack Robinson, the White Rabbit appeared, sitting back to front on top

of the hippopotamus, riding out into the daylight.

After the White Rabbit had thanked the baby hippopotamus for the ride (Alice felt

that he was nowhere near as grateful as she had been), he scolded Alice for

having fallen down the hole, before him. He said, “If there is to be any hole-falling

around here, we must first have a vote, to decide who shall fall through it the first. Is

that clear?”

Alice nodded her agreement, but secretly harboured a suspicion that the White

Rabbit must be mad number one, and if not that, then he most certainly must be

mad number two.

Another winding path suddenly appeared, but this one, although also bordered by

flowers, was in no way as inviting as the previous ones. You see, instead of pink

forget-me-nots, giant aspidistras sporting green snapping mouths atop high stems

beckoned them on.

“Come on, we have to find our way up,” said the White Rabbit as he brushed past

the giant aspidistras and their ferociously snapping mouths. Alice gasped as the

first plant snapped hungrily at his thick fur, tearing out a large piece from the

Rabbit’s back. “Come on, we must return to the top of the world,” he shouted

again, seemingly oblivious to the dangers posed by the snapping mouths, and the

even greater dangers they posed to a little girl like Alice.

Having no intention of admitting that she was afraid of some silly old flowers that

the Rabbit obviously thought were harmless enough, and having even less

intention of asking him for his help, Alice prepared to pass down the dangerous

path. By now the White Rabbit was so far ahead, Alice doubted she might ever

catch up with him again. So beginning with a first tentative step, she closed her

eyes and began the long march down the aspidistra-bordered path, hoping she

might, just might catch up.

Alice hadn’t finished taking her first step, when one of the snapping mouths tried to

remove a piece from her left ear. A second mouth, sensing an easy target, began

pulling crazily at her long hair, while a third green mouth tried to bite off her nose.

“Now stop that,” she shouted in her bravest voice to the terribly bad-mannered

plants. “Now stop that or else I shall be forced to dig you all up, and replant you with

rhubarb,” she warned.

Like a switch had been turned, all three mouths immediately stopped biting.

Carefully inspecting her head, Alice made sure that she had every bit of it still

intact. After she was satisfied that everything was as it had previously been, she

said, “Thank you. I can’t ever imagine what has got into you to behave so rudely.

Don’t you know that plants are supposed to be nice – not terrible, awful things?”

As she studied the giant plants, with their green beaklike mouths high abover her,

Alice thought she heard someone crying, so she asked, “Who is that crying?”

The plants, their beak mouths on stalks high above them, began swaying.

“Now stop that,” Alice ordered, “and please tell me who is that crying?”

Although still swaying, one of the nearest beak mouths began speaking. It said,

“She is crying, the little offshoot, close to my wife – see.” One of its long leaves

pointed over to the right.

“Your wife?” Alice asked in surprise that a plant might actually be married.

“Yes,” the aspidistra replied, swaying all the more. “Can you see them?”

“I might, if you stopped swaying,” said Alice. “I am beginning to feel quite sick from

it all.”

“I can’t,” the plant explained. “None of us can. When we are upset, we sway. That’s

why we sway so much in the wind – because we don’t like it, because it upsets us

so.”

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”

“You can promise that you won’t dig us up,” a small, weak voice sobbed from over

to the right.

“Of course I won’t dig you up,” Alice promised. “I only said that because of how

badly I felt I was being treated.”

The plants stopped swaying, allowing Alice to see the child aspidistra tucked

lovingly under its mother’s green leaves. Showing no fear for her own safety,

disappearing beneath the huge plants (she now trusted them completely), Alice

walked up to the baby plant and its doting mother.

“I am sorry,” she said, “if I upset you so. Will you please forgive me?”

“Yes, I will,” said the baby plant trying to hold back a sob. “We are sorry. We only

get like this when we are so very hungry… we are usually happy, with smiling

beaks to cheer up the weary travellers.”

Confused, Alice asked, “Hungry – how can you be hungry when your roots can find

all the food you need?”

“Fertilizer, all plants need fertilizer at some time in their lives,” the baby aspidistra

explained. “None of us have had any fertilizer – for ages. I have never had any. I

don’t even know what it looks like!”

“This is a most terrible state of affairs,” said Alice, scratching her head, trying to

work out what could be done to remedy the situation. Then raising a finger, she

asked, “Can I go fetch you some?”

If beaks had been able to smile, every beak skirting that path would have been

smiling radiantly after Alice’s last question. They were so excited at the prospect of

getting some fertilizer they began talking furiously amongst themselves. In fact, the

plants’ conversation became so noisy, Alice could hardly hear herself think, and in

the end she just had to ask them to stop. “Stop, stop talking, please,” she said, “my

ears are hurting from it all.”

It stopped; all the excited talking stopped – except for one of the plants, the mother

aspidistra, who said, “Do you know where you can find us some fertilizer?”

“I, I don’t,” Alice was forced to admit.

Smiling, Alice thought she saw the beak smiling, when it said, “Go to the fertilizer

mine, there you will find all the fertilizer we need.”

“Where is this mine?” Alice asked, lifting her hands in puzzlement.

“I am sorry, I don’t know – none of us plants know where it is located,” the mother

aspidistra confessed. “All that we know is that it surely exists…”

Seeing how sad the mother plant had now become, Alice said, “I will find you

some fertilizer – I promise.”

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Chapter Two

A Note: There are in total sixteen chapters in his exciting Christmas adventure.

Oh,I almost forgot, the Cheshire Cat makes a surprise appearance.

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Geri Novél: Girl Mystic

© Gerrard T Wilson 2008