Alice on Top of the World, chapter one

Alice On Top of the World front cover

Alice On Top of the World front cover

A story in the style of Lewis Carroll...

Chapter One

'Into The Abyss'

It was many years later when Alice had her next adventure, and whilst she was quite surprised to

be having one at all, after the passing of so many years, she was even more surprised to

see that she was a child again, no older than when she had first entered Wonderland and

slipped through that fascinating Looking Glass. “How curious,” she whispered, trying to

recall the child she had once been.

“You took your time getting here,” said the White Rabbit who suddenly appeared in front of her.

“I beg your pardon?” Alice replied, remembering how rude he could be, if he felt so inclined.

“I said you took your time in getting here. You should have been here fourteen years ago,”

the Rabbit huffed indignantly as he began hopping quickly away.

“But,” Alice spluttered, running after the Rabbit, “I have no idea how I arrived, let alone

why I am so very late!”

“We accept no ifs or buts, here – you should know that by now,” said the Rabbit, as he

opened a door which had appeared as suddenly as he. Then stepping through, he said, “Hurry

up, please don’t dawdle.”

As she followed him through the doorway, trying her best to keep up with the fast-hopping

Rabbit, Alice surmised that he must have got out his bed on the wrong side, this morning,

to be so grumpy on so wonderful a day. And it really was a wonderful day, with a warm

sun shining brightly down.

‘I wonder where I might possibly be?’ thought Alice, as she admired the pink forget-me-nots

skirting a narrow, winding path before her.   “Am I in Wonderland?” she asked, just as

another door, the same as the first one, appeared.

Giving Alice a most peculiar look, the Rabbit said, “Of course we are not in Wonderland.”

Opening the door, he added, “We are on the top of the world.” Having said that, he scurried

off, hopping down another winding path, also bordered by pink forget-me-nots.

“The top of the world?” Alice cried out in surprise. “Why, that’s impossible!”

The Rabbit stopped hopping. Turning to face Alice, he asked, “Then how can you be here,

if it’s impossible?”

Flummoxed by the Rabbit’s question, Alice found herself struggling to find a reply. The only

one that she was able to come up with, was, “I bet you are mad!”

“That all depends,” the Rabbit replied, quite matter-of-factly.

“It all depends on what?”

“On whether you mean mad or mad.”

“That’s silly,” said Alice. “They both mean the very same thing.”

“If you were mad number one,” said the White Rabbit, with full conviction of the soundness of

his case, “and someone happened to tell you that you were mad number two, you might be

very mad indeed, at so fundamental a mistake.”

“But I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, becoming ever more frustrated at so silly a conversation.

“How do you know that you aren’t mad,” asked the Rabbit, who appeared to be enjoying

flummoxing Alice, so “when you can’t tell the difference between mad number one and

mad number two, I might ask?”

“I just know that I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, stamping her foot, displaying her annoyance

at what she considered was questionable logic. Then changing the subject, from her possible

madness or claimed sanity, Alice informed the Rabbit that another door had appeared and was

awaiting his attention.

Turning round, the White Rabbit took hold of the brass handle and attempted to open it,

but despite his best efforts the door remained stubbornly shut.

“Might I try?” Alice asked, feeling very un-mad. Standing away from the door, the White

Rabbit said nothing, but his pink, beady eyes watched her intently.

The door opened easily for Alice, and feeling vindicated, she proclaimed, “Could a mad

person have done that?” Without waiting for a reply, she stepped through the doorway

and promptly fell into a gaping hole on the other side.

“No, they mightn’t,” said the Rabbit, laughing as she disappeared into the hole. “But would

they have fallen down there?” Laughing again, he hopped through doorway and into the hole,

following Alice…

After a long fall in near to total darkness, a fall that reminded Alice of the time she had

fell down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland, the speed of her descent began to slow.

In fact it slowed down so much it stopped altogether, and she began rising again. “I don’t

want to return up there, even if it is to the top of the world,” she insisted, staring at the tiny

speck of light high above her. “It’s far too far!”

Hearing something passing her by (she had no idea what it could be, for it was far too

dark to see properly), Alice jumped onto its back. Then holding on ever so tightly, she rode

out from the well, or whatever it was that she happened to have fallen into.

Squinting, trying to get used to the light, again, Alice was surprised to see that she was

actually riding a baby hippopotamus, whose skin was as smooth as silk. She wondered how

she had been able to stay upon it for second let alone long enough to escape from the dark,

dreary place. Alice had so sooner begun thinking this, when she felt herself slipping, sliding

off the baby hippopotamus. Landing with a bump on the hard, dusty ground, she moaned,

“I don’t like this place, I don’t like it at all.” 

  Alice held on ever so tightly to the baby hippo.

 “You don’t like it!” said the baby hippopotamus, in a surprisingly low voice for such an

extreme animal. “Then how do you think I feel? There’s not a drop of water to be seen –

anywhere. And we hippos need so much of it!”

Brushing down her dress, removing the last vestiges of dust from it, Alice said, “Mr

Hippopotamus, I would like to thank you for the ride, from out of that cave, or whatever it

happens to be. And I feel that I must tell you that it was the most comfortable hippopotamus

ride I have ever had (Alice omitted to tell the hippopotamus that it was the only one she

had ever had), thank you, again.”

“My dear child, I hardly noticed you there, so light and small a child that you are,” said the

baby hippopotamus, who was quite obviously chuffed by Alice’s kind remarks. “And any time

you feel the need to take a ride from out of that dark space, please feel free to jump on

my back as I pass you by.”

“Thank you, thank you so very much, I will keep that invitation in my invitation book,” said

Alice in her most grateful voice, “and if I don’t find a need for it, I will treasure it always.”

After that the hippopotamus returned to the darkness, searching for some water. However,

before he had a chance to begin, Alice heard another soft landing (though it has to be said

that it was not as soft as hers), and before she could say Jack Robinson, the White Rabbit

appeared, sitting back to front on the baby hippo’s back, riding out into the bright light.

After the White Rabbit had thanked the baby hippopotamus for the ride (Alice felt that he was

nowhere near as grateful as she had been), he scolded Alice for having fallen down the hole,

before him. He said, “If there is to be any hole-falling done around here, we must first have a

vote, to decide who shall be first and who second. Is that clear?”

Although Alice nodded in agreement with the Rabbit, she secretly harboured a suspicion that

he was quite possibly mad number one, and if not he was most certainly mad number two.

Another winding path suddenly appeared before them, but this one, although also bordered by

flowers, was in no way as inviting as the previous ones. You see, instead of pink forget-me-nots,

giant aspidistras sporting green, snapping beaks awaited them.

“Come on, Alice, we have to find our way up, to the very top of the world” said the Rabbit

as he hurried past the plants and their snapping beaks.

Alice gasped as the first plant, snapping hungrily at his thick fur, tore a large wad from his

back. “Come on, we must return to the top of the world,” he shouted, seemingly oblivious to

the dangers posed by the snapping beaks.

Having no intention of admitting that she was afraid of some silly old flowers that the Rabbit

obviously considered quite harmless, and having even less intention of asking him for his help,

Alice got ready to pass down the dangerous path.

By now the White Rabbit was so far ahead, Alice doubted she might ever catch up. Closing her

eyes, taking a first tentative step, she began her way down the aspidistra-bordered path,

hoping, just hoping to catch up with the Rabbit.Alice hadn’t finished taking her first step,

when one of the snapping beaks tried to remove a piece from her left ear. A second beak,

sensing an easy target, began pulling crazily at her long hair, while a third green beak tried to

bite off her nose.

“Now stop that!” Alice shouted in her bravest voice, to the terribly bad-mannered plants.

“Now stop that or else I shall be forced to dig you all up, and replant the entire area with

rhubarb,” she warned.

Like a switch had been turned, all three beaks stopped attacking. Carefully inspecting her

head, Alice made sure that she had every bit of it still intact.

After she was satisfied that everything was as it had previously been, she said, “Thank you.

I can’t ever imagine what has got into you, to behave so rudely. Don’t you know that plants are

supposed to be nice – not terrible, awful things?”

As she studied the giant plants, with their green beaklike mouths close in front of her, Alice

thought she heard a cry, so she asked, “Who is crying?”Despite listening intently, Alice heard no

reply, as all the while the cry from somewhere deep within the plants continued. Then they began

swaying, their beak mouths on stalks high above them, also swaying. “Now stop that,” she

ordered, “and please tell me who is crying?”

Although it was still swaying, one of the plants began speaking, it said, “She is crying, the little

offshoot, close to my wife – see.” One of its long leaves pointed to the right.

“Your wife?” Alice asked, in surprise that a plant might actually be married.

“Yes,” the aspidistra replied, swaying all the more. “Can you see them?”

“I might, if you stopped swaying,” she said. “I am beginning to feel quite sick from it all.”

“I can’t,” the plant explained. “None of us can. When we are upset, we sway. That’s why we

sway so much in the wind – because we don’t like it, because it upsets us so.”

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You can promise that you won’t dig us up…” a little voice sobbed.

“Of course I won’t dig you up,” Alice promised. “I only said that because of the terrible way

you were treating me.”

The plants stopped swaying, allowing Alice to see the child aspidistra tucked lovingly under its

mother’s green leaves. Showing no fear for her own safety, disappearing beneath the huge

plants (she now trusted them unquestionably), Alice approached the baby plant and its doting

mother.

“I am sorry,” she said, “if I upset you. Will you please forgive me?”

“Yes, I will,” said the baby plant, trying to hold back sob. “And we are sorry, so very sorry that

we frightened you. We are like this because we are so hungry… we are usually happy, with

smiling beaks to cheer up the weary travellers.”

Confused, Alice asked, “Hungry – how can you be hungry when your roots can find all the

food you need?”

“Fertilizer, all plants need fertilizer at some time in their lives,” the baby aspidistra explained.

“None of us have had any fertilizer – for ages. I have never had any – ever! I don’t even know

what it looks like!”

“This is a most terrible state of affairs,” said Alice, scratching her head, trying to work out

what could be done to remedy the situation. Raising a finger, she asked, “Can I go fetch you

some?”

If beaks had been able to smile, every last beak skirting that path would have been smiling

radiantly at Alice’s last question. They became so excited at the prospect of getting some

fertilizer they began talking furiously amongst themselves. In fact, the plants’ conversation

became so loud, so noisy, Alice could barely hear herself think, and in the end she just had

to ask them to stop.

“Stop, stop talking, please,” she said, “my ears are hurting from it all.”

It stopped; the excited talking stopped – except for one of the plants, the mother aspidistra, who

said, “Do you know where you can find us some fertilizer?”

“I, I don’t,” Alice was forced to admit.

Smiling, Alice was sure she saw the beak smiling, when it said, “Go to the fertilizer mine,

there you will find all the fertilizer we need.”

“Where is this mine?” Alice asked, lifting her hands up, in puzzlement.

“I, I am sorry, I don’t know – none of us plants know where it is located,” the mother aspidistra

confessed. “All that we know is that it most surely exists…”

Seeing how sad the mother plant had become, Alice said, “I will find you some fertilizer, I will

find enough fertilizer to feed you all – I promise.”

Chapter Two

A Note: There are in total sixteen chapters in his exciting Christmas adventure.

Oh,I almost forgot, the Cheshire Cat makes a surprise appearance.

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© Gerrard T Wilson 2008